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For future reference, since it seems like it might be necessary sooner rather than later, if things come out of the Vatican smokestack:
- Black smoke means there's no new pope.
- White smoke means there's a new pope.
- Red smoke means shit is about to get real at the Vatican.
- Purple smoke means Jimi Hendrix is the new pope.
- Green smoke means it's currently 4:20 at the Vatican.
- Blue smoke means the Vatican is no longer working, please call tech support.
- A shit-ton of smoke means the Vatican is currently on fire.
- Intermittent smoke means, "Help, cardinal currently trapped in Vatican fireplace, send Swiss guard with tub of lard."
- Orange smoke means a rascally cardinal is playing a practical joke.
- Multicolored smoke means the Vatican has invested in some illegal Chinese fireworks.
- Snakes which whisper that the day of judgment is at hand mean it may be time to duck and cover.
- Bats mean the Joker is pope.
- The body of the old pope means buckle up, shit's about to get weird.
If that seagull comes back, I have no idea what that means. Maybe the seagull should be pope.
@intransitivelie I was hoping that rainbow smoke meant a gay orgy.
@SistaWendy
If rainbow smoke meant gay orgy I bet the Vatican chimney would be pumping out enough rainbow smoke to blot out the sun pretty much constantly. They'd be burning down the rainforest to power their oven. It's probably for the best that they don't advertise.