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@JimmyB Yeah, that's one of two things that I talk about *a lot*

1) I lived up until I was 40 thinking that I was "broken", because everyone else *obviously* have the same challenges I do, and *they* can handle it! (no ... no they don't. Most *really* don't <.<)

2) I'm still not fully sure who I am underneath the mask, and I've been working on that since '22 ... I've been "playing a role" my entire life, without ever even *realising* it, and early on I had this deepseated fear that ... what if I unmask fully and realise that there's nothing left? That the true me died years ago? At this point I'm pretty sure that's not true (part of my core self is wanting to be kind and do least harm--not to people-please/avoid "offense" but to avoid *hurting* others) but it's still a scary ghost <.<