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For the very little it's worth, it's probably not coming from a place of toxic masculinity. It's an aunt who has made clear that I am tolerated in the family despite being a man. I have neither the language nor the patience to engage with her. It normally only gets to me when I'm otherwise down, like I am today.
@HG @msbellows Sounds like disengagement from her is a very sensible strategy - she shouldn't be allowed to live in your head rent-free. And remember: "No" is a complete sentence. Hang in there.