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The internet is a confusing place. I was looking for news stories about Mr Blobby, then I somehow fell down an INSANE rabbit-hole so that when my wife came in and asked what I'm doing because I'm supposed to be getting ready, I said to her the following..................
I'm trying to verify that the man who holds the record for inserting most creme eggs into his anus was eaten by a crocodile.
I hate the internet.
(It's 9!)
Edit - I don't know if they were wrapped or unwrapped and I don't know if he was eaten by a crocodile as the Daily Sport asserts in their article.
Just my personal opinion, but I think 9 creme eggs is too many to have in your anus. I'd go as far as saying one is too many for me.
@TheBreadmonkey So vanilla, Ben.
@TheBreadmonkey wrapped or unwrapped? (And did he get eaten by a crocodile, and if so was the crocodile tempted because he was gravid with creme eggs?)
I never found out. There's just some unverified Daily Star reports about it.
@TheBreadmonkey did you ask chat gpt?
@internetsdairy @TheBreadmonkey
ChatGPT says:
"I couldn't find any information on such a bizarre and tragic event happening. It sounds like the plot of a wild story rather than a real event."
Given how reliable chatGPT is, it's pretty amazing that the Sunday Sport is not counted as a source. They must be proud.
@internetsdairy @TheBreadmonkey
Wrapped in foil changes the game.
@TheBreadmonkey No ambition. Smh
@babe @TheBreadmonkey I asked my kid to guess the record and he said "I don't know, 200?"
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Oh my god
@TheBreadmonkey @babe a fearless generation. Generation Eggs
@internetsdairy @babe @TheBreadmonkey
Does he know what a creme egg is? Is he confusing them with those tiny little sugar covered solid chocolate ones?
@internetsdairy @babe @TheBreadmonkey Logically I could see how you get to a number like this if you were just envisioning the human digestive system like a giant Pez dispenser and you’d stop when the first Creme egg was in the mouth. We’re always being told about how the bowel is a long as Silverstone or whatever.
@Nickiquote @internetsdairy @babe @TheBreadmonkey Are we talking full size Creme eggs, or the mini ones? Or the ones you get in Miniature Heroes? Details are important. Also haven't they been getting smaller in recent years?
@theplaguedoc @internetsdairy @babe @TheBreadmonkey I think you’d need to go for the then-standard default Creme egg, but yes I do think that shrinkflation is making the earlier trailblazers of this sport look less impressive than they really were.
@theplaguedoc @Nickiquote @internetsdairy @TheBreadmonkey iirc it's full sized creme eggs prior to shrinkflation
@theplaguedoc @Nickiquote @internetsdairy @TheBreadmonkey I can't tell if I love or hate that this is something I am capable of recalling
@babe @Nickiquote @internetsdairy @TheBreadmonkey It certainly makes the feat more impressive.
@babe @theplaguedoc @Nickiquote @internetsdairy @TheBreadmonkey I just had an idea how product shrinkflation might be related to record inflation.
@TheBreadmonkey I'd imagine it depends on the anus and your cream tolerance.
Words to live by
@TheBreadmonkey There are so many other, more convenient, storage options available.
@MarkAsser @TheBreadmonkey like the bin.
@TheBreadmonkey Now that you have me
(private) searching for this horror on the sabbath, there is a more reputable source (a Dutch medical journal) about a man doing himself a damage by putting 15 hard boiled eggs (without shells) up there.
No news on whether this made them more attractive to predators.
@TheBreadmonkey 9 is the limit etiquette allows for - interestingly, sticking 10 up there is where the word ‘decadence’ comes from.
@TheBreadmonkey
I am easily tempted and have also now joined you down the rabbit hole.
Thank you, Ben
You. Are. Welcome!
@TheBreadmonkey One is definitely too many, but you should still be able to outrun the crocodile. Now, a gator on the other hand…
@TheBreadmonkey was he eaten by a crocodile, though?
(Can crocodiles eat chocolate or is bad for them like it is for dogs?)
@TheBreadmonkey YOLO. I haven't tried this yet, but based on your research, I'm not ruling it out. This is the kind of insightful (insertful?) content I'm here for.
@RacerX @TheBreadmonkey When they came out, he would be laying eggs?
@TheBreadmonkey I think I'd prefer something longer and thinner with a nice curve to easily hit my prostate.
@TheBreadmonkey @babe How bad is it that my first thought was “that doesn’t seem like THAT many… 
”
@TheBreadmonkey - true, but at least the quality of the chocolate doesn't matter in this scenario...
@TheBreadmonkey Also having just dealt with hemorrhoids, I'm going out on a very short limb by suggesting the foil almost certainly needed to be removed first.
@TheBreadmonkey I have entirely different questions. Like, was he asked? Dared? Or did he do it recreatively? Did he intend to set a record, and did he announce this intent? Or did he just go for a personal best & thought "this is going well, I should call Guiness"? What was the decision process like? Did the crocodile like chocolate? Did it eat him butt first?
So, so many questions...
not vegan, for one thing . . .
@TheBreadmonkey this with an Easter bunny clucking in the background must be someone's kink