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What are your true opinions and thoughts on marriage?
Just for fun, this is a photo from my wedding day (ignore the reflection of my phone lol) I was all of 21.
@RickiTarr
Hmm. For a long while i thought it was pointless unless there was some utility involved, i.e. kids or immigration.
Having transitioned, i'm not quite so sure any more. I like the idea of being some girl's wife, unlike the idea of being someone's husband.
@theartlav Oh interesting
I am happy with my marriage. It was a secular wedding where we made commitments.
For others, I'm happy for marriage to be their choice, religious, secular or no marriage. Whatever feels right for them
@RickiTarr Been married three times. You'd think I'd get better at it.
@12thRITS @RickiTarr Practice, practice.
@Sir_Osis_of_Liver Who jaded you?
Married at 24, divorced 23 years later. It was rough sledding the last few year of it.
Took me three years to pay off a lot of residual debt that I did not incur.
So it's one and done for me.
@Sir_Osis_of_Liver Ugh that really sucks
Cue Édith Piaf "Non, je ne regrette rien" 
It's the way it goes sometimes. People change, not necessarily in a way that's easy to foresee.
@RickiTarr@beige.party It's ok.
I think people like being able to proclaim their head-over-heelness about someone, so that's cool. It does need to have a graceful exit available (no-fault divorce) because things change.
It's cool to have certain things organized around it, child-rearing and all, but there needs to be other options, too. Can't stick everyone with an antiquated institution just because it's gained some advantages.
It needs expanding if it's going to cover how people really live. Polyamory, s-families, etc. Makes no sense to exclude people like that.
In the end, society could readily live without it, though.
@jennzycos All good points
@RickiTarr You were a lovely bride!
@RickiTarr
That's a beautiful picture. When you are married to the right person it's great. I married my best friend 17 years ago. It took us both along time to find the right person. We've both been married before.
@Callalily I'm glad you found what you were looking for
@RickiTarr
We were good friends for a long time. I was married twice before him & almost gave up. He was married once before me. Neither one of us thought we'd ever find happiness. I'm so thankful & happy to finally have love in my life.
@Callalily Aww that makes me happy
@RickiTarr
Thank you. He's also a good dad to his kids & mine. We grew up a city apart from each other. Probably about 10 miles or less. And never knew each other. I was actually friends with his ex-wife when we were teens. Through a mutual friend. I babysat his kids briefly. It's a long story with us. But it ended well for us.
@RickiTarr Works for us. 33 years in.
@RickiTarr btw, great pic
@RickiTarr Holy shit you've always been adorable.
@Alice Aww thank you
@RickiTarr Personally a big fan. I’ve been married for 26 years (to the same person!). Big opinions about it: it’s work. I think “success” in any marriage should be defined by the people in it.
@kpl Great points, over 20 years for me.
@RickiTarr Congrats!
@RickiTarr Legally: Government should stop using the term "married" and only have laws around family units (and have religious values removed from them, just require that all adults enter freely and can leave freely with their share of resources and supporting all dependants of the family unit)
Personally: The status quo fits what I personally want, so the system doesn't grate on my life. But the pressure to get married and have a family wasn't pleasant for those of us that get married at 30.
@LovesTha Yeah there's a bizarre level of pressure
@LovesTha @RickiTarr I agree. The overloaded word with multiple definitions just sows confusion
#FBPE @RickiTarr I hadn't a clue what I was doing at 21.
Actually I did have a girlfriend ... and my grandma said "you aren't going to marry that one, so why are you wasting time with her?".
@TimWardCam Damn Grandma
@RickiTarr I feel left out
@gemini6ice From marriage? Or do you want to be in the picture?
@RickiTarr 
from marriage. It’s not in my cards, it seeems
I am glad I did it, and married a wonderful person.
I'll never do it again. Being married once is more than enough for me.
@ParadeGrotesque @RickiTarr I agree. I had such a great long marriage. I have no need nor desire to do it again.
@RickiTarr
I'm gay. I never imagined I might marry. Then holy shit in 2004 we rushed into it (on ~ our 15th anniversary together) 8 days after it became legal, and I was really surprised to find that … I love it? It felt (and feels!) really, really good to have society say, "Yup, we're cool with your relationship." We're more likely to hold hands walking down the street. I love my husband and I'm so happy and grateful to have married him.
@stevegis_ssg @RickiTarr What a great story! Thx!
@RickiTarr MHO: It's so much work to do it right, even under the best circumstances. Worth it, but only if you are a team working together.
Lovely picture.
@RickiTarr Wuv, twue Wuv.
Mawwage is optional. You decide who you twuwy wuv, in my opinion.
And in mawwage, governmewnt gets to get invovwed in youwr wuv wife to decide fowr you what is yourws and what bewongs to Govwernment.
@GreenRoc @RickiTarr I've been married 3 times... every one of them ended horribly...
Pretty sure marriage was the problem.
My current spouse and I have been living together for 25 years next February. The bonus is that it gives her ultra catholic mother the opportunity to pray on "living in sin" as much as she wants.
@ShredderFeeder @GreenRoc LOL living in sin
@GreenRoc @RickiTarr oddly enough, these were the vows used at my wedding
@GreenRoc @RickiTarr Twoo, but there are real benefits to the legality aspects else it wouldn't have lasted still too.
@GreenRoc @RickiTarr well to be fair marriage is in essence a legal contract granting rights to both parties.
@RickiTarr Cute picture!
Tough question to answer well. We married in 1971. It's like asking me what I think of my left foot. It's a part of me. Only she can talk to me (unlike my foot), tell me I'm an idiot, tell me what to not wear, oh, and love me.
It's truly mind blowing.
@Frankc1450 @RickiTarr Ditto on what Frank says! We said those 2 words in 1969, 54 years ago. There's two things you can't keep down in life; a good woman and rotten oysters. 
oooh a mourning suit, very snazzy
@artisanrox @RickiTarr I was very sharp.
@Frankc1450 OMG YOU GUYS ARE SO ADORABLE
@RickiTarr We've been very very lucky. Received lots of help along the way. We had a strong village.
@Frankc1450 @RickiTarr I love this picture! I did a double take with your “other half.” She has a sort of young Loretta Swit look. Her expression makes me think she had just been laughing - and yours makes me think it was your doing. So sweet!
@athena_rising @RickiTarr yes I see that. I don't remember now. We were in the back seat of my FIL's car. He took the picture. She's always been a beauty, still is.
