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We need more Tesla jokes — specifically about how dangerous they are.
Here’s the thing: all cars can catch fire, and all EV fires are especially hard to put out. But Teslas are •uniquely• dangerous:
Tesla cuts corners, and their “cheap luxury” engineering habits extend to safety. Recalls are endemic. Their safety record is…bad. There’s hints that their battery cooling system is sub-par. And it’s nearly impossible to escape a Tesla in an emergency unless (1) you’re in the front seat and (2) you’ve practiced using the emergency latch.
Poking around at public data, Cybertrucks ••burn people alive•• 57 times more often than normal cars. Not 57 percent. 57 ••times••. That’s…bonkers.
2/
57 times the normal rate. That’s 17x worse than even the Ford Pinto:
https://fuelarc.com/evs/its-official-the-cybertruck-is-more-explosive-than-the-ford-pinto/
Now for those of you who know the Ford Pinto, you know that the car bore the brunt of endless jokes. A comedian could always get a laugh based on the universally shared assumption that they’re terrible cars that catch fire.
That’s a kind of communication that can reach people who aren’t reading nerdy threads on Fedi. So:
3/
Do you want to hear my new recipe for barbecued chicken? It’s super easy!
1. Get a live chicken.
2. Put it in a Tesla.
…
You know, stuff like that.
4/
When jokes like that can get a laugh, Elon Musk is cooked. Like a Tesla.
/end
What do you call 10,000 Cybertruck owners barbecued inside their own vehicle?
A good start
Did you know? If you stacked up all the Teslas at the bottom of the ocean
Sorry I lost my train of thought. That was the end of the joke.