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When you're unkind to children, they don't stop loving you, they stop loving themselves.
I so wish I had gotten here sooner. I love my kids and I shower them with physical and emotional affection. I'm also completely ridiculous and, I am sure, very confusing to them. Also, being enormous and bearded with an all-caps voice is a strong headwind--they both seem to prefer mom by a wide margin.
There are so many things that feel like they don't map cleanly onto kindness. I put my son in time out when he slaps me because I want to protect him from being the kind of person who thinks hitting is OK [he's also strong, and him punching me in the mouth is no fun for me], but that also requires manhandling him into his room, and he super duper hates it. I generally don't lie to my kids, but I play games with my son where I'm all "I'M GONNA EAT A BIG BOWL OF POOP!", and he says "dad! That's not poop! It's chocolate ice cream!" and I ask him if he's sure and tell him that I'll check by eating a great, big scoop, and he thinks it's really gross and funny. There's an implied lie in there. Kids have to do lots of things that they don't want to do, and I struggle so much with that. I feel neglectful and substandard a lot of the time, and I just hope they feel genuinely loved even if by a flawed person.
@HG @RickiTarr I think showering them with affection and worrying about whether you're doing it right are the top two signs that you're doing great!
Preferring mom when they're little seems to be extremely common and should not be taken as a sign that you're doing something wrong. In our house we have three teens and they all strongly preferred mom (me!) when they were little, but now they if anything lean towards preferring dad 
Thanks, Maria. It feels so difficult and alienating some days. I regret how much time I need to spend working, and how much time my son spends watching TV or playing games on my phone. I hope they're having a good childhood, it just feels like there's never enough time for the things I want them to have.
Also, this feels like the first time I've ever interacted with you even though you've liked almost every Lrrr post -- I almost thought yours was a bot account! Glad to know there's a real and insightful human being behind it all.
@HG @mariashanle Shitty parents don't generally spend a lot of time thinking about whether they are shitty.
@HG @RickiTarr I have been quietly lurking and favoriting for a long time, finally just decided to come out of my shell to interact!
And yeah, sometimes I think that the very core of parenting is feeling like you don't know if you're doing it right. All we can do is our best, though! 
@mariashanle @HG Marie Speaks!
We're glad to hear from you!