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Work is sending me for a pee test, but they didn't say if it was for accuracy or distance. I've got this either way.
@the_etrain 
they give you extra points for filling the cup up all the way too
@enoch
They're greedy for pee
@the_etrain 
I personally think they’re selling it on the black market to ppl that get paid to pee on other ppl bc sometimes they don’t have to pee so this way they can just pour it on them and pretend. Just a theory though
@enoch @the_etrain
And then there are the folks who’d really really like it if somebody peed on them, but are too shy to ask, or maybe just haven’t met the right person, and pour it on themselves as a sort of masturbation.
@qurlyjoe @the_etrain exactly! there’s a bigger market for pee than one might originally think
@enoch @the_etrain
Specialty brands imported from Russia for MAGAts.
@qurlyjoe @the_etrain and this is just the market for ppl who pour pee on themselves, don’t even get me started on the clean pee market for drug tests. There’s billions to be made 
@enoch @qurlyjoe @the_etrain You could call it Urineluck
@B_Whitewind @the_etrain @qurlyjoe 
I’m buying Urineluck.com right now
@enoch @the_etrain I read somewhere that in Japan some urinals are outfitted with 'games' measuring volume, strength of stream etc.
I'm like,
"I'm taking my supersoaker and making the next guy feel *really* inadequate"
Just Annie 
@the_etrain
If you can sign your name, you’ll ace it.
@JoeBeam @the_etrain Story collected in the Ozarks in the 20’s. Clem: Your son pissed my daughter’s name in the snow. Bill: So? Clem: It was her handwriting!!
@the_etrain @JoeBeam It’s from a book titled Pissing in the Snow by Vance Randolph. Full of Ozark folklore aka dirty jokes.
@dadakopf @the_etrain
It sounds universal.
@the_etrain
But can you do a full twist and land without a splash?
(Yes, I'm watching the Olympics.)
@the_etrain But wait, remember the microplastics! What if you urinate out a 3D print of the empire state building or something? Your bosses would have a lot of questions. Are you prepared for that?
@ChristineMalec
I never entertained that as a possibility :blobcatthinkingeyes:
@the_etrain
Mine makes me write my name in the snow. I don't think they're worried about drugs.
#gregg #shlong