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@MaJ1

They bought it. Incredible!

One of the worst performances
of my career and they never
doubted it for a second.

How could I possibly be expected to
handle school on a day like this?

This is my ninth sick day this semester.
It's getting pretty tough coming up with
new illnesses.

If I go for ten, I'm
probably gonna have to barf up a lung,
so I'd better make this one count.

The key to faking out the parents is the
clammy hands. It's a good non-specific
symptom. I'm a big believer in it.

A lot of people will tell you that a
good phony fever is a dead lock, but,
uh, you get a nervous mother, you
could wind up in a doctor's office.

That's worse than school.
You fake a stomach cramp,
and when you're bent
over, moaning and wailing,
you lick your palms.
It's a little childish and stupid,
but then, so is high school.

Life moves pretty fast.
If you don't stop and look around
once in awhile,
you could miss it.

I do have a test today,
that wasn't bull-s--t.

It's on European socialism.

I mean really, what's the point?
I'm not European.
I don't plan on being European
so who gives a crap
if they're socialists
They could be fascist anarchists
and it still wouldn't
change the fact that I don't own a car.

(Singing in shower)

It's not that I condone fascism
or any 'ism' for that matter.
Ism's, in my opinion, are not good.
A person should not believe in an'ism,'
he should believe in himself.
I quote John Lesson: 'I don't believe
in Beatles. I just believe in me.'
A good point there.
After all, he was the walrus.
I could be the walrus.
I'd still have to bum rides
off of people.