Back

This is not to say your feelings and struggles aren't important, of course they are, just use your own platform.

@Chigaze I just meant any of those things are an option, but hey if you want to do several even better

@RickiTarr Oh, I'm so used to you posting questions for us to answer I just read it that way. :)

@janisf It's asking people to allow other's to share and enjoy their joy.

Recently one of my friends got her name changed officially from her dead name, and she got negative comments not from anti Trans people, but from "Must be Nicers" to the point that she felt bad about posting about it at all.

I feel like this is different than saying things like, No one ever acknowledged me so you shouldn't expect it either. Which I agree would be bootstrapping and shitty.

I do understand the frustration at being at a different place in life than someone else, I just don't think trying to tear down someone else's beautiful moment helps either party.

@RickiTarr Latté, absolutely. I think there's room for a spectrum. Without too much context, it can break a person to see a "friend" buy a third home while scrolling on a break from a homelessness crisis. I think what we might be getting at though is making the internet a terrible place over latté really, really isn't worth it. It hurts everyone.

Yes, we need more joy.

@janisf Yeah, material bragging is shitty, especially if it's excessive! Like if you managed to buy a house, and you did it and overcame a bunch of hardship to do it, let me celebrate that with you, but if you're bragging about a third car or some luxury item, ya basic.

@RickiTarr @janisf

I definitely see both sides of this. I am so happy when I see my friends happy, posting vacation photos of places that are on my bucket list (that I may never see in person, thanks to COVID cautiousness) but I have unfollowed old school acquaintances who seemed to only ever post in a very braggadocious way about their life. I wouldn’t leave resentful comments or try to shame them tho. I just didn’t want to see that kind of materialistic, toxic positivity on my TL constantly.

@KydiaMusic @janisf I agree there, I don't want to see someone's polished version of life, it's why I could never do Facebook or Instagram. Authenticity is better.

@janisf @RickiTarr

I’m not sure I follow.

@KydiaMusic @RickiTarr People don't grasp how the contribute to the big picture of what's going on, and they really don't proceed mindfully in their context.

Teens and (for lack of better description) poor people don't need the "motivation" they/we so readily consume, and makes great ad dollars, mostly feeding the already-wealthy. The economic, psyco-social, and internet repercussions of repeated content, patterns, goes deep.

@KydiaMusic @RickiTarr People mean, well, and do well with a little brag, but self-advocacy, and in-group promotion, these days, needs more thought about how it lands in the landscape.

@textualdeviance @RickiTarr Racists with a superiority complex? You don't say....

As soon as the psychatrists get off their high horses will start pathologizing the made-up pecking order, and all the heinous behavior that built it, supports it, and perpetuates it.

Sorry your mom had to deal with that. I bet you saw signs of that distress from time to time. Sorry about that, too.

@janisf I think you misunderstood. My aunt (awful as she was) was just buying something she needed, not trying to be petty. My mom (equally awful) still took it as a personal attack.

@textualdeviance OK, got it.

Still, if I'd have been your aunt, I would have found the words to help ameliorate the sentiment. Even if the gesture was unintentional, it doesn't mean she didn't plow through it without acknowledgement.

Misunderstandings can be skirted, we all just need to make a point of seeing them and turning the wheel.

Your mom projected her pain--that's really unfortunate.

@farah Well, you've never done it to me, or if you did it was funny and I didn't care lol

@maxleibman @farah Agreed

@pascaline